How a few mindful breaths help me amidst the busyness of parenthood
Parenting and Overstimulation
Since becoming a father, I know how quickly the days fill up. Packing school bags, cooking, working, crying spells, sports clubs, homework... and in between, trying not to lose myself.
But the truth is: I also lost myself. Seriously lost myself. Caring for my son and my sick father, who lived far away, became too much. Ultimately, my wife and I decided I would consciously become a stay-at-home dad, because I felt I would otherwise be completely drained.
That experience taught me so much. It made me—perhaps reluctantly—an expert on how quickly you can fall apart as a parent, but also how you can gradually find yourself again. And breathing became my most important guide in this process (you can read my full story in this main blog post). ).
Why Breathing Works
Children sense everything. If I breathe tensely, they notice it immediately. But when I slow my breathing, not only does my own tension decrease—the atmosphere in the house changes too.
That's because breathing more slowly activates the vagus nerve : your nervous system's built-in calming button. Within a few breaths, I noticed:
✓ my heart rate drops
✓ my shoulders relax
✓ my son reacts more calmly
You can read more about the physiology behind this in The fascinating science behind conscious breathing .
Small Moments, Big Impact
I don't use breathing during an hour on a yoga mat, but in the midst of the hustle and bustle of parenthood:
✓ During a tantrum – instead of giving in to the emotion, three calm exhalations (more practical methods in Breathing techniques compared: from Wim Hof to Fire Breath ).
✓ Before my son goes to bed – 4-7-8 breathing helps us both to calm down faster.
✓ When everything becomes too much for me – reach for my Respira breathing chain – breathe back your peace , breathe out calmly, without anyone seeing.
✓ In the car or at work – a short session of box breathing , as I also suggest in Breathing in the Workplace: How to Manage Stress Without Your Coworkers Realizing .
What I Noticed
After a while, those around me noticed it too: "You've been calmer lately." It wasn't that my life suddenly became less busy—quite the opposite—but I learned to deal with the tension better.
The best part is that my son sometimes takes over from me. He sees me taking a deep breath and spontaneously joins in. Those are the moments when I feel: this isn't just good for me, but for him too.
Curious about the origins of these techniques? Read "From Buddha to Modern Science: 2500 Years of Breathing Wisdom" .
Conclusion
Parenting is intense, especially when there are extra worries. I know what it's like to lose myself in that chaos. But breathing has become my anchor. It helps me not to get completely caught up in the chaos, but to repeatedly return to myself.
Whether it's three conscious breaths or my Respira breathing chain who helps me slow down: finding peace doesn't have to be big, it can be done in the smallest moments.